An entry in the sannin's diary
by Aurum Fire
Summary: A little peak in the sannin's diaries.
1. Chapter 1

No one's perfect, everyone knows that. The words coming out of your mouth doesn't always mean that that is what you want to say.

I'm a princess and you're a commoner.

I wasn't born into a royal family but still the family I came from is equivalent to royalty itself.

Everyone expects me to be the best, the wisest, the good mannered and girly princess.

We're so different but so close even when we're at each other's throats.

You're not exactly my type either but I'm grateful, you don't have to pretend to be another person.

I don't have to pretend around you either.

I always rub in the fact that I'm better than you in almost every aspect.

I'm always at the top of my classes, always accurate at throwing weapons at targets, well mannered in formal events as expected of someone related to respectable people.

I have my parents and a brother who I love more than anything.

I beat you up whenever you peek at the girl's side of the bath house.

I had the finest things in my life but I'm unhappy.

I lost my family one after another.

My grandfather, my parents, my brother and the man I love.

I don't know how you do it but whenever you're around, I feel safe and secure.

You, the most perverted guy in the class or possibly in the whole village, you're orphaned and live by yourself.

You barely had any skills in being a ninja, you pop out one date proposal after the other whenever I'm around.

I beat you up, punch you and send you flying for a couple of feet or the farthest distance my strength can send you.

You get back up on your feet as if nothing happened.

You're not exactly a good influence with your perverted personality but look at what you've become.

The toad sage, teacher of the Yondaime hokage, one of the legendary sannin but no matter how much you've grown from that boy who easily for traps in a simple bell test, you're still the friend I can rely on.

Even when I fell for someone else, you're still there, making sure I was taken care of and make sure that he'll stay loyal to me.

You were there to be a shoulder to cry on when I lost him, you were always there for me.

Now you're walking into the sunset, out of the gates, out of the village, warning me to be careful of the 'root', we both know that that might be the last conversation we'll have.

I want to stop you from going, order you as your hokage to let me come with you at least, but I know you won't let me go.

I want to hug you so tight, tell you what I've been hiding all this years.

I kept telling you back then that I won't go on a date with you.

I may have said those words but I never stopped myself from loving you.

I want to tell you the truth.

I'm willing to give up being hokage, just to be with you.

Now seeing you walk away from me, I know that perhaps now is not the time.

I want to give you every minute of my time, stop you from leaving, make you stay with me, tell you the three words that I know you've been wanting to hear, the words I wanted to say for all those years that we're apart.

Death was always at the verge of taking you, when we were known as the three way deadlock, our battle with Orochimaru, when you went on that three year trip with Naruto.

I was always scared to death whenever I get the feeling I've felt so many times, that something bad happened.

Death might come after you again and there's nothing I can do about it.

The only thing giving me assurance that you'll come back alive is the bet you asked me to bet on.

That you'll die.

I'm the legendary sucker.

I always lose my bets.

Whenever I gamble, I always wanted to win but this bet is the one bet I want to lose.

I've lost a lot of people already.

I can't lose you too.

 **Tsunade Senju.**

 **The godaime hokage of the hidden leaf.**


	2. Chapter 2

It's been 2 weeks since I arrived here with sensei constantly coming down here to visit me. He told me this place is called limbo. Apparently, my life isn't done yet and might be brought back to life but not now at least. There are others here as well, some of them just comes here to watch over the ones they left behind, some are waiting for their loved ones and bring them to their final resting place, some are the ones who have passed away already but still can't go on to the heaven or hell because of something binding them to earth and the ones I got samples from, to use for edo tensei jutsu.

What surprised me though is this place is like the alternate version of the elemental nations, and by alternate I mean the place is here but everyone is equal. No shinobi, no kages , no rogue ninjas, just plain normal people. There's no end to this place, we just need to think of the place and it just appears, even my apartment back in konoha has its version here, and I stayed there ever since.

So here I am writing in my diary, I might be seen a lot as the traitor of konoha but I'm still a person even though people are still judgmental about it but I don't really care. I look outside my window, and see the portal that brought me here, open again. It brought a sage, a very familiar toad sage, Jiraiya.

Sensei greets him with a warm hug. I still find it odd that people, who looked like they've gone through a lot of pain, can look normal again as if they've never been injured or murdered at all. They never even age, from the age they were before they departed. I've never seen him look so fragile, rods embedded on his back, one arm missing, throat crushed, blood just kept pouring out of his wounds, but a couple of seconds later, he looked okay again with no trace of the damage done to his body. Sensei apparently told him where I was, and he looks at my window.

" Hey, hebi."

Uggh, why does he have to be so loud, I can hear him even from all the way here in third floor of this apartment building. I feel myself grimace at that nickname. I hate that nickname.

" Don't call me hebi, ero-sennin."

Kukuku, that blonde kid really rubbed off on me and besides it suits him.

" You… don't call me that!"

Short tempered as always. Oh well… he's always been like that anyways. I put down my pen and close the diary and placed it on my desk. Kukuku… it's just another day in the afterlife, might as well enjoy it for now while I'm still here.

 **Orochimaru**

 **One of the legendary Sannin**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: this is the last chapter and not all written here are diary entries, I added some of my ideas, if it really happens in the anime that he'll get sent back to earth which didn't happen at all, of tsunade and jiraiya scenes and some appearances of characters from the story so please enjoy.**

* * *

Dear diary,

Here I am on top of the hokaghe mountain here in heaven. Heaven is also like what you can see in limbo, even though here is more vibrant and has more people. I was pretty shocked when I wished that the hokage mountain was here, and it appeared all of a sudden. Not just the hokage mountain appeared as well but also the entire elemental nation, and we're free to go there when we want to as there are no ranks here, I still can't help but use the jutsus I use with infiltration though I kinda feel bad for orochimaru, there he is on limbo and might not be allowed in here yet, if he's allowed to at least. From what I've heard from sensei, Orochimaru's life isn't over yet and he can still be revived by someone from earth, he has some things he hasn't done yet so he'll be given another chance. I feel upset about that fact. I have some unfinished business too but my time's up. Hiruzen came over to my apartment yesterday and I still remember our conversation yesterday.

 _ **FLASHBACK:**_

 **I was sitting on a bench near the pool of water, one of them at least, where it shows you what's going on in the land of the living. Good thing there's one of those near my apartment. I saw how Pein attacked Konoha, Tsunade releasing Katsuyu to heal everyone, Kakashi's death, how Naruto defeated Pein and talk to Nagato, Nagato passing away and how he was admired by everyone after he saved Konoha. Danzo killed by Sasuke and it looks like they're choosing another hokage.**

 **Tsunade remained comatose, and the only thing I can do is watch over her even though no one can see me, whether I watch over her from here or from limbo, it doesn't really matter as long as I can still be there for her.**

" **Hmm… she hasn't woken up yet hasn't she?", sensei asks from behind me.**

" **Sensei.", I reply.**

 **He watches Tsunade as well.**

' **I've never seen her like this.' , I say in my mind.**

 **I must've said it out loud since he sighed deeply.**

" **Me too.", he says.**

 **I watched her again. I saw her move a bit, and calls for Shizune, weakly. The medic attending to her looks for Shizune and she comes in running and hugs her. Tsunade is finally awake, oh well, it looks like Kakashi won't become hokage after all.**

" **I'm glad you're awake Tsunade.", I say and she must've heard it as she looks around a bit.**

" _**Lady Tsunade, what's wrong?", I hear Shizune ask.**_

" _**I thought I heard Jiraiya.", she replies.**_

" _**You really miss him don't you?", she teases.**_

" _**You know I do, Shizune.", Tsunade says, leaving me shocked.**_

 _ **She sighs.**_

" _**You really should stop blaming yourself for what happened."**_

 _ **The medics leave, seeing as they need privacy.**_

" _**But.."**_

" _**But nothing, Lady Tsunade. It's not your fault, I know he would've still gone through that mission even if you order him to not go, not without you or any ANBU."**_

" _**I still should've tried. I got the feeling that he might die on that mission. I should've made him stay, tell him I love him but it's too late."**_

" _**You finally got the courage to admit it to yourself huh. I guess uncle was right all along, you really did love him and you still do."**_

" _**Dan knew?"**_

" _**Yes he did, when you were together, he always told me that whenever you're with him, it seemed that you were incomplete, sure you look okay but you were missing someone. You smile and princess-like, you restrain yourself from showing that strength of yours when you punch someone who made you angry, you just ignore it unlike what you usually do. You only present your other half, the nicer one. When Jiraiya-sama returned, it's like for him you came alive, you were back to who you really were, you bicker and banter, drink till dawn, everything that uncle never saw in you when you were together. You restrain yourself from letting him know the qualities you have that others think that isn't fit for someone who came from a respectable family and descendant of the two hokage, Hashirama and Tobirama Senju. And I believe him because I saw it too, I always followed you two around whenever you go on walks around Konoha, and even at a young age, I saw what he saw even when I didn't understand back then."**_

 **Tsunade is shocked as much as I am.**

" **It's about time.", sensei says.**

" **She finally realized it huh?", someone asks.**

" **Dan.", I reply.**

 **It's Dan alright. He looked the same from when we last saw him, without the bloodstains of joins us and watches as well.**

" _**Then why didn't you say anything?!", she exclaims.**_

 **And there's the angry Tsunade I missed seeing. Shizune backs away a bit.**

" _**Milady ,stop moving around, you're still weakened after 2 months of coma."**_

" _**Weakened? I'll show you who's weak."**_

" _**Lady Tsunade! Please calm down and rest!"**_

" _**I refuse!"**_

" _**Lady Tsunade, please rest. I'm sorry I kept it from you, uncle wanted you to figure it out for yourself and believe me, I want you to realize it first."**_

" _**But Jiraiya is dead now."**_

" _**Doesn't mean he can't hear it though."**_

" _**Fine. Jiraiya, wherever you are, I love you okay! I'm sorry I was too late."**_

" _**I love you more hime… ", Shizune and Tsunade hears, it may seem impossible but both knew it came from Jiraiya.**_

 **I'm glad that she heard that too. We step away from the pool and I can't help the grin on my face.**

" **Yes, she loves me!", I can't help but shout out to the world.**

" **Whew… and I thought she'll never be able to realize that." , sensei comments.**

" **I wish I could come back though, why is only Orochimaru given a chance?"**

" **It's not up to us Jiraiya, you've done everything you could when you were alive. The only way you could go back to Earth is only as a spirit. No one can see you but they can tell you're there. There's no need to be upset so much Jiraiya. Orochimaru may not deserve the fact that he can still be revived and live again and continue with his life that he left behind but the only thing we can do is accept that fact and also accept the fact that we can only return to Earth without a body and only as a soul. Spirits can't interfere with the living. Please do think of this, if you really wish to be revived and live again, there's no telling what lies ahead. You could be reborn as an infant and you'll never know how old everyone especially Tsunade will be when you see her again in a grown body. If you return as a spirit, you can still be there for her and still see her, she might not be able to see you but she'll hear you and you can visit her in her dreams where you can tell each other what you want to say and see each other.", he explains.**

 **He left after that and Dan pats my back.**

" **I better go Jiraiya, I always watch over Tsunade when she was not in Konoha and I left her side when she became hokage because I know you'll do just fine in being there for her. I only return when you weren't there but based on what I saw earlier, she still needs you. I don't think it'll matter to her even if you don't have a corporeal form as long as you're there."**

 **He left as well.**

 **Flashback end.**

I return to the pool and saw how she still grieves over my death. I've already made my decision, it's nice being here but in the meantime, I'll be staying on Earth to be there for her. I still wish that I have my body back but it's not that important anymore. Goodbye for now heaven.I'll come back from time to time, but I'll most likely stay a lot on Earth and watch over them especially Tsunade. Sayonara.

 **Jiraiya**

 **The toad sage.**

 _I close my diary, and think of Konoha, Tsunade, and I feel myself vanish. I appear by Tsunade's bedside. I see the marks of tears on her face and tears still run down her face. I wipe those away, and lie beside her._

" _I'm back for you, princess. I'm sorry it took me this long and I don't have a physical form, but I'm here now."_

 _I fall asleep beside her._

 **Back in heaven, Dan and Hiruzen watch the two of them. Both of them sensed Jiraiya leave and go back to Tsunade.**

" **He really loves her doesn't he?", Dan asks.**

" **Yes he does.", the third hokage replies.**

 **Both of them smile and just watch them both.**

 **A/N: the italics only is back to earth and present time. I'm afraid this is the end of this fanfiction and I hope you like it. I don't really write in diaries so this fanfic might not be how entries in diaries are normally written.**

 **I hope you liked it.**


End file.
